Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 50's (who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob...), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life. The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45 point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot's wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well cultured take on the NFL.The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Joe Petrizzi and Tom Walls because "typing.. .BZZT... is a dame's job". A couple weeks ago I wrote about how all teams were still inthe race for the playoffs, based purely on record. That is no longer true. This is the time of year when fans in certain cities shouldtruly despair that their teams have no hope. No hope for this year anyway. There's a story the media is pushing this year, which has acute misnomer ‘Suck for Luck'. As you know the idea is that poor teams arelosing, and their management isn't all that upset, since they will be able todraft the most hyped QB to come out of college since Peyton Manning; Andrew Luck.In a strange, completely unfair twist, the Colts are the leaders in theclubhouse with a record of 0-6, and a very sloppy 0-6 at that. The other teams in the derby based purely on record are: Miami(0-5) Denver(1-4) Minnesota(1-5) Carolina(1-5) St. Louis(0-5) Minnesota, Carolinaand St. Louisall have young QBs drafted recently in the first round. Would St. Louis orMinnesota actually take Luck when they already have Sam Bradford and ChristianPonder? I don't know what Ponderbrings to the NFL game, but if I were St. Louis, I would take Luck based on Bradford's performance and issues with staying healthy. If there is some karmic force in the Universe which gives adamn about sports (I'm Catholic, and believe in God -- but to me, he doesn'tgive an angels cold sore about the outcome of sports games) then Indianapolisdoesn't end up with Andrew Luck. Sorry Indy, you shouldn't get Manning thenLuck in succession. If Indy got Luck, it would be almost as unfair as when theSan Antonio Spurs had David Robinson then drafted Tim Duncan. Coincidentallyenough, the Spurs were bad for one year when Robinson was out with an injury,there are a lot of parallels here. The Spurs went from very good to great withDuncan and Robinson. At least the Coltscan't put Manning and Luck on the field at the same time. Speaking of God - in other news, Denver is still starting Tim Tebow this weekend. So they, uh still have got a ways to go. Honestly, I would love to see Tebow succeedas a football player just to stick it to the many pundits who are soooo sure hecan't play in the NFL. It sure seemslike someone with that kind of success at the collegiate level should get ashot in the pros before we write him off.However; I have a real problem with anyone that sides with groups like "Focuson the Family." They are anti-sex,anti-pornography, and anti-gambling.They're probably anti-drinking although I haven't seen that specificallyin the literature. I mean, those thingsare what I am all about -- they are the anti-BetBot people! Supporting them means you basically want meunplugged and smashed in an industrial press a la The Terminator. So bite me, Tebow. I'll be betting against you in bed with twoshowgirls while I sip a martini, pretty boy. NFC Notes The aforementioned Christian Ponder gets a start thisweekend against the Packers. I understand times are bleeping desperate in Minnesota, but is itsmart for his first game to be against the Packers? Put Donovan McNabb up against that defense, then give Ponder the...BZZT...startagainst the Panthers on the road. Hopefully the kid survives! Speaking of McNabb, time to hang up the spikes Donovan. Ofcourse he won't retire after this season, but he should. He's more desperatethan Dom DeLuise after the Burt Reynolds and Lonnie Anderson wedding. Sweet Mary,that was a sad sight. I wasinvited as a friend of Bruce's and Lonnie's former lover. Like Dom, Donovanneeds to understand when he's been left behind. The whole JimSchwartz/Jim Harbaugh handshake brouhaha... I feel compelled to give my takeeven though it's been beaten to death. That's right, just like Sports Talkradio, I'm gonna pile on! There's talk about Schwartz taking defeat like a man,and not getting upset. There's also video of Schwartz taunting the Ninersbench, and presumably Harbaugh, during the game. Look, that sort of thinghappens during games. Not every game, but it happens. Certain media types areusing that as justification for Harbaugh hitting/shoving Schwartz at the end ofthe game. And he did shove Schwartz, make no mistake. Let me be clear, Harbaugh's in the wrong here. You won thegame, I don't care what the point spread was, I don't care if no one pickedyou, I don't care if you won the game on the very last play, I don't care... Be ableeping class act. Be a class act every time you win. Slow down, shake handsand move on. Don't be a clown, Jimmy, don't be a clown. Be a Sinatra, don't bea DeLuise. AFC Notes That was not the best game on Monday Night Football. Yeesh, what a dumpster fire. I won't waste much time on Miami because weall knew they would rot and, frankly, that's what you get when you can't developa quarterback. Hey - remember when Brandon Marshallwas good? He will be again when he gets traded to thePatriots. You heard that here first. But the Jets -- the Jets were supposed to be good. Look, that offense is terrible -- I'm sorrybut the whole idea of Shonn Greenebeing close to a breakout is fairly laughable.It's not like he just got here. I'mpretty sure he is what he is -- about 60 yards per game. Biggest fantasy tease since Ron Dayne. New York is not getting the play it needs fromMark Sanchez to make a difference,and they will remain a mediocre squad until that gets fixed. RexRyan may have the same fire as his father, but it also appears he has thesame inability as Buddy to even put together an average offense to complement anexcellent defense. Add the Jets to thelist of also-rans. That said, New York will still probably beat the Chargers athome this weekend. San Diego is 4-1 butthey got there on the backs of some real cupcakes in the first 4 games. They are only +11 in point differential andturn the ball over about twice per game.I don't know what's up with PhilipRivers, but he is not playing at an elite level -- 7 interceptionsalready? What does he have another kidor something keeping him awake at night?Get a nanny during the season, son. So Hue Jacksonconvinced Mike Brown to trade Carson Palmer to Oakland, or so I'vebeen told by every NFL guru with access to Jackson and Brown. They are such close friends. Yeah, it's either that or possibly the TWO DRAFTPICKS Oakland is giving up in the deal, potentially 2 first rounders. For a player who Cincy wasn't using anywayand hasn't been good in what, 4-5 years?But it was the friendship that closed the deal, I'm sure. Not a bad idea for Oakland, though. I mean, to make a run in 2011. With the Chargers playing smoke and mirrorswith their record and the rest of the NFC West apparently drunk on bad wine,make a move now to push for the playoffs.KC and Denver won't be this bad forever, right? Right? So long for now, and remember "Showgirls and gin my friends, showgirls and ...BZT...gin."